Ready, Set...Emotion Coach?

AN ANONYMISED REFLECTIVE LOG FROM AN EC UK PRACTITIONER TRAINER:

‘Chiara’ aged 10 was wandering the school corridors and refusing to return to the classroom. ‘Alice’, a Practitioner Trainer, was required to complete some cognitive assessments with Chiara.

Alice felt worried as she approached Chiara. She was also frustrated that a relational approach had not already been used with Chiara to help her co-regulate and prepare her for this assessment work.

She thought Chiara was probably overwhelmed, and very wary about yet another unknown adult coming to speak with her.

Alice also thought Chiara was likely feeling unsafe – and that had triggered her stress response, and she was possibly going into ‘fight or flight’ mode.

As Alice approached, she accepted that Chiara might not be ready to converse with her, so she introduced herself and asked if she could have a tour of the school.

As they walked, Alice realised that Chiara was displaying levels of stress that might be described as ‘bubbling’ behaviour. Beginning Emotion Coaching, by labelling and validating the child's feelings might not be appropriate at that stage. Alice pointed out some of the displays in the corridors and asked the occasional simple question about the environment.

After a short time, Alice and Chiara moved into an intervention room, and Alice began with Emotion Coaching Steps 1 and 2:

“I noticed that when I arrived at school you were not in your classroom. I wonder if you might have been feeling nervous about meeting me?” said Alice.

Chiara confirmed that this had been the case, and that she had been told Alice would be doing tests with her. She had felt really overwhelmed by this and wanted to run away.

Alice used Emotion Coaching Step 3 to set expectations for the session – not just for Chiara, but also for herself. Alice let Chiara know that she needed to complete some tasks with her in this session at school. This would help Alice to do her job and hopefully also enable the school to support Chiara better.

Then, using Emotion Coaching Step 4, Alice and Chiara problem-solved about what would help them both if either of them began to feel confused, worried, or frustrated.

Chiara engaged with Alice, and setting expectations that were supported by strategies made her feel safe. For example, Chiara agreed that if she felt overwhelmed, she would ask to go for a drink of water rather than running out – and agreed that Alice would wait in the doorway so she could see she was safe

Chiara responded well to being given time to calm. Chiara completed the session and fully engaged in the assessments – as well as providing her views about school life!

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In this interaction, Alice’s ability to be a ‘STAR’ meant that she didn’t jump into or move through the Emotion Coaching steps too quickly.

Alice 'Stopped, Thought, Attuned, and Reflected'. She recognised that Chiara required some time before starting the Emotion Coaching steps. Even when some connection was starting to take place, and Alice felt Chiara was beginning to calm, Alice didn't rush through steps 3 and 4 which could have caused the stress response to be activated again.

By developing a connection first, Chiara was much more receptive to Alice’s approach. Alice skillfully empowered Chiara by respecting her and responding to her physical and emotional state.

Sometimes it can be difficult for adults to move on from empathising with a child about how they are feeling, to supporting the child to do something they are reluctant about. Having the 4-step framework at the back of one's mind can help a practitioner to move on.

Through further discussion, Chiara was able to explore ways that would help her feel safer.

Alice reflected that this interaction reinforced for school staff, the value of using a relational approach.

The Practitioner Trainer also reflected that it was lovely to see a young person respond so quickly to an empathic approach and, even if only for a short period of time, appear calmer and more grounded.