"It's a consistent approach...
across the school where pupils feel they have been heard, their emotions validated and are empowered to solve problems.
It has helped to raise the awareness of pupils with attachment needs and the understanding that there are
reasons behind their behaviour.
Partnership across the school including lunchtime staff and teachers has strengthened through the
training & strategies."
Teacher from Stoke
DEALING WITH AGGRESSION
"I was walking in from PE and saw a student outside walking round in a aggressive manner, I asked what the problem was.
He told me a teacher had annoyed him by saying he wasn't listening when he was. I said, "I can see you are upset and cross because you don't agree with what happened, and feeling like this is normal and okay. However throwing things and kicking fences is not okay And we need to think of a better way to resolve it. Could the teacher maybe have thought you were not listening?" The pupil said, "Maybe." I continued to discuss with him how to go about it next time and we resolved it by saying he needed to try and ignore others. We talked about how to make it right, and the pupil said he needed to pick up the table and finish his work. I said that he could have a few more minutes until he was ready to make a good choice. He took 2 minutes then went back to lesson and put things right."
A mother writes: My son was refusing to get out of the car for his first day at holiday club. He locked the car doors, climbed over the seats - thought he was being funny. My initial reaction was to get cross, but I stopped myself! I sat next to him in the car and held his hand - he was able to say, "I'm frightened and nervous" He had never communicated this before. I gave him a hug and calmly spoke about the time I was scared too, that we will make friends with the adult and ask if they could introduce him to some other girls and boys and make new friends. My son visibly pushed back his shoulders, puffed out his chest and said "OK". He continued to hold my hand and walked calmly into the holiday club. As I left, my son turned to say goodbye and gave me a big hug without any fuss whatsoever.
Didn't like dancing
"A pupil had been asked to finish off a piece of work from the day before by the TA but was not cooperating. This was the beginning of a special day of dance lessons and I knew that she didn't like dancing.
I said, "Let's set the work aside for a minute and have a chat. I can see that you are feeling unhappy about being at school today and I think I know why. Can you explain?" The pupil first described an argument with her brother that morning at home and then said there was something else. She wrote down on a piece of paper that this was going to be the worst day ever and passed it to me.
I asked her why and she said she hated dancing.I said that I understood that she must not be looking forward to the day ahead but that sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. I explained what the dance day would involve. I said that although I understood why she was not in the best mood, it was unacceptable to refuse to follow an instruction from an adult. We talked about what she could do to resolve the problem. She could complete the task and apologise to the TA. And she could try to be mature and get through the dance day, making the correct decisions."