Emotion Coaching: putting a foot in it...
This EC practitioner shares a very honest reflection about a missed opportunity to Emotion Coach when in a hurry.
'Ebony' had been stuck in heavy traffic on her way to collect her niece for an event with a set starting time.
Running late, she found 'Lee' was not ready to leave. In fact, Lee was very slowly putting on their shoes.
Ebony was feeling stressed, annoyed, and easily irritated. She expected Lee would be feeling excited and eager to leave.
Ebony thought she was problem-solving when she asked Lee if she wanted help or to pick another pair of shoes that were easier to put on.
Instead, Lee became more agitated and flustered.
Ebony realised she tried to hurry Lee along rather than consider why they may be delaying leaving. In the stress of the moment, Ebony did not pause and consider the situation from Lee's perspective, which resulted in Ebony jumping in to 'solve' the problem and achieve the outcome she wanted.
On deeper reflection, Ebony realised this was one of the few times Lee had been anywhere without her mum or dad and so was likely to be feeling worried or apprehensive. Ebony knew that if she had been able to empathise in the moment, she could have let Lee know that she understood how she might be feeling and support Lee to manage the anxiety or fear rather than thinking about how to get the shoes on faster...which was not really the issue that needed attention.